Shyness and other lunacy

So how do you meet new people?

Say for instance, your at a church you've never been to before. You don't know a single person. It's not that you don't like people, it's just perhaps your a little reserved because you feel self-aware, out of place, whatever.

Do you walk up and start a conversation? do you wait for someone to talk to you? do you run out screaming, or sneak out quietly before everyone else?

Do you make new acquaintances easily, or do you tend to stick with you closest friends, or do you prefer to be alone?

Thinking on these things, do you know why you make the choices you do? Is it something from your past nagging at you? or have you always been shy/outgoing?

I find myself in this situation often. While I love being sociable, I tend to only be this way around people I'm already comfortable with. I'm slow to speak up in group discussions, and tend to stay to myself most of the time.

I've been made fun of and otherwise hurt in the past, and so for a long time I distrusted and disdained most people.. I guess I'm still struggling with that, though I believe, for the most part, that most people are good.

I notice that I have the most difficulty talking in groups, or with people who I feel are more knowledgable in a subject (IE. I don't want to sound like an idiot so I keep my mouth shut). I don't like to draw attention to myself, though I do like to share my thoughts, poetry, etc, when I feel I won't be ridiculed for it.

I've also noticed that I tend to be more shy around women than men. Which to me doesn't make much sense. I find I don't relate to men very well anyway.. to much macho bs for me for the most part. I think it's … wait for it… Inculturation ..
It seems in our society, the norm is you are only allowed to talk to women if you're flirting with them. How asinine is this? Yet I suppose that's one of my hangups.

Anyway It's something I'm aware of and trying to overcome. It's not easy, though it does seem to get easier the more I do it.

Strangers passing in the street

by chance to separate glances meet

and I am you and what I see is me

and do I take you by the hand

and lead you through the land

and help me understand the best I can

~ Pink Floyd - Echoes